wendigo wendigo wendigo 😈
wendigo wendigo wendigo 😈
2022-01-05 22:09:20 +0000 UTC View Post
lotusjayne posts
should i upload more casual selfies here too? or stick to th..
should i upload more casual selfies here too? or stick to the egirl stuff? :p
2022-01-04 02:11:12 +0000 UTC View Posti feel like i've really found myself this past year. i was g..
i feel like i've really found myself this past year. i was getting over a breakup and having a rough time, feeling super insecure and not like myself at all. i wasn't happy for quite a while. i wasn't really sure where i was going with my content, or wasn't sure what i really liked. but as the year went on, i figured out that i was nonbinary and felt super comfortable going by they/them because she/her just felt... wrong. i stopped going by my real name almost completely with my irl friends and family bc it didn't feel right. i didn't feel like i was that person anymore. i changed a lot about myself. i started exploring aesthetics and styles and figuring out what fit me and what felt most comfortable. i still LOVE switching up my style, so that's probably never gonna change, but now i know what i really like! i'm excited to keep exploring looks and styles and make cool outfits :3 i also started listening to a lot of new music, stuff i haven't really touched on much in the past, and oh boy did i find my favorite types of music. i feel so happy listening to stuff that just fits me super well. i listen to almost anything, but it's super cool finding just... a plethora of music that you really, REALLY enjoy. :> i also started watching old shows i used to love when i was younger, so that's made me happy too! i started doing things for myself that i've never really done before. i realized i have always lived my life trying to please others or trying to live for others. not to get all sad, but i haven't had a very happy life, and as such didn't think i would make it this long. but i'm glad i was strong and pulled through! ToT i started really doing things i like, finding myself, and BEING myself, and it feels so nice. don't get me wrong, i still get sad, insecure, etc... i still have a lot of mental diagnoses that make life a little hard sometimes, but it's gotten easier to deal with since i started changing little things. i went on a plane and left my home for a week!!! i got diagnosed with agoraphobia, so leaving the house gets really hard sometimes, but i pushed myself out of my comfort zone and did it!! it was one of the most fun trips i've ever been on, and now that i KNOW i CAN do it, i want to do so much more! not to toot my own horn, but i'm so proud of myself. i think this past year has been super SUPER hard, but it was well needed. it has made me happier, more patient with not only others, but myself, and it's also been a lot of needed healing. i'm still human and get angry, hold grudges, stuff like that, but i've learned a lot. i've also been such a people pleaser all my life that it causes me not to see things for how they really are, and as such, i don't see red flags or the way people treat me unfairly. i used to just take it. but now i've started realizing that sometimes being selfish is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. now i realize how i should be treated by people, and now i know that when someone isn't treating me right, i shouldn't just take it just because i understand where they might be coming from. i deserve to be treated nicely, and so do YOU. never forget that. never let someone drag you down, lie to you, make you feel like an OPTION. never, never settle for people who make you feel small, or like you're "too much". you will NEVER be too much or not enough for the right people. if someone thinks these things, they're not for you. don't give these people second or 3rd chances. life is too short to not treat people how they deserve. most importantly, if you're on the other end of things, learn from your mistakes, realize how you might be in the wrong, and HEAL. don't go into a friendship/relationship expecting someone else to fix you. only YOU can do that. and also, don't try to fix yourself for OTHERS, do it for YOURSELF! i have met so many people this past year who i am sososo grateful for. some of the best friends on earth who understand me and my flaws, and who never fail to give me the constant reassurance i need. these people have made me feel so much more comfy being myself, especially around them. they make me laugh so hard i'm brought to tears. they're people i can truly relate to, and even though i haven't met some of them yet, i'm forever grateful for their existence. all of my friends hold such a warm place in my heart, and i will forever be grateful for these people who always have the best intentions for me. you all are so amazing, you know who you are!! this was sososo long, but if you read all this, thank you! i'm so happy with all the people i met, or anyone who has interacted with my posts this year. you guys are truly amazing, and i'm so happy to have all of you here! i legit couldn't do any of this without all ur kind words and amazing support c: i love you guys, here's to 2022! more growth, healing, learning, and more importantly, HAPPINESS! 💖💖
2022-01-01 18:33:29 +0000 UTC View Post
i got this bra in the mail, look how bouncy my titties are :..
i got this bra in the mail, look how bouncy my titties are :3
2021-12-28 01:41:05 +0000 UTC View Postif you follow me, you're in a cult. call your dad ⭐
if you follow me, you're in a cult. call your dad ⭐
2021-12-27 20:51:00 +0000 UTC View Posthi!!! just wanted to give you all a little update from the N..
hi!!! just wanted to give you all a little update from the Nov post! things ended up happening, and although they were getting better, things kind of came to a head! :c my roommate decided to go back home. we might plan for something later in the future, but as of right now, it was too stressful on us both! i really REALLY enjoyed them staying with me, but i'm super glad to be able to go back to making custom content and ppvs for you guys again! i will be reopening customs after the new year, so if you want to request any, as a reminder, per extra custom pic it's $5, and for videos they are $15 under a minute and $25 per minute. price can be higher or lower depending on what you want, and for Blossoms on f@nsly all ppv is half price! there are lots of things i'm not particularly comfortable with, so just be prepared for me to say no!! as a reminder, i don't do 🐱 content for customs, but i MAY post some if i'm comfortable with it, as i did for Christmas! however, it's up to me when/if i want to post that content, so pls be respectful! 💖 i appreciate you all and i appreciate you stickin with me 💖
2021-12-26 18:54:39 +0000 UTC View Postif i sit on ur lap do i get a present? :3 merry christmas ev..
if i sit on ur lap do i get a present? :3 merry christmas everyone!!
2021-12-25 20:19:10 +0000 UTC View Post
i would never lie to you... hehehe
i would never lie to you... hehehe
2021-12-21 20:09:19 +0000 UTC View Posthead empty, only crazy frog bing bing
head empty, only crazy frog bing bing
2021-12-17 19:28:41 +0000 UTC View Post"if you knew how you were going to die... how would you live..
"if you knew how you were going to die... how would you live your life differently?" Halo is one of my favorite games!! i did a little test run for a Cortana cosplay, and while i didn't think it was the best i could do, i think the pictures turned out pretty good cx what do you think?
2021-12-15 21:20:24 +0000 UTC View Post
does anyone remember neopets?? i used to play AAAALLLL the t..
does anyone remember neopets?? i used to play AAAALLLL the time. it was sososo fun. i still know the passwords to all my accounts cx i used it mostly for the RP boards. other users and i would write out little stories for our characters, make them interact, and make pages for them!! it was like writing a story with other people, and it was SO fun. i really miss it. i miss going on websites like that and wish one of them would make a comeback or a new one would pop up. ugh ToT i miss it!!! which websites did you go on?? 💖 -Lotus 🌺
2021-12-12 00:05:17 +0000 UTC View Postboot licker? of course not. shoe licker? yep.
boot licker? of course not. shoe licker? yep.
2021-12-06 21:48:24 +0000 UTC View Postme when ur mom and i ur mom ur i we and i and me when when u..
me when ur mom and i ur mom ur i we and i and me when when ur mom i
2021-12-04 17:27:09 +0000 UTC View Postsince people had a fit about my trigger discipline.. c;
since people had a fit about my trigger discipline.. c;
2021-12-02 21:15:18 +0000 UTC View Postmess around, get the cock gun! gives a whole new meaning to ..
mess around, get the cock gun! gives a whole new meaning to shoot a load in my mouth c; (it's just a bb gun, dnt worry!!) 💖
2021-11-29 20:47:19 +0000 UTC View Postbeing gay and sucking baallssss
being gay and sucking baallssss
2021-11-27 20:04:47 +0000 UTC View Postthey give u this look, wyd? do u let them tongue-punch ur fa..
they give u this look, wyd? do u let them tongue-punch ur fartbox?
2021-11-26 19:13:07 +0000 UTC View Postthe look they give u before they suck ur bl00d
the look they give u before they suck ur bl00d
2021-11-23 21:46:23 +0000 UTC View Posti know ya'll come here for the lewds and nudes, but i just n..
i know ya'll come here for the lewds and nudes, but i just needed someplace to vent a little bit. :/ recently, I've been very out of it and unmotivated. i'm sure no one has really noticed as i try to keep up a silly, positive attitude on social media. i'm usually pretty good at keeping my spirits up in hard times, but i do deal with a lot mentally, and sometimes it gets very hard to keep up a smile. so here's a little update! my friend recently moved down here as he needed a change in life and needed to get away from his job. i told him he could stay with me for a bit and figure things out from there. i always want to be generous and help people when they're having a hard time or need it, but i underestimated how stressful this would be. i live in a very, very small apartment and it's a little cramped as it is with just me and my cats, but i thought i could make it work! sadly, this is not the case as it has f0rced me away from being able to freely work like i used to. i really wanted to stay branching out and doing more on here for you all, and testing my boundaries and limits. however, since this person doesn't have a job yet, i don't have the freedom to do that anymore. there's no room where i can go to close the door and just be alone. i usually try to shoot my sets in advance so i have at least two in advance in case anything happens or i get sick, etc... i also like taking random pics when i'm feeling myself and such. i alsoalso like shooting custom vids/pics for the people who request it. but now i can't freely do that, and as such, have to put customs on hold, or i have to just get to them /eventually/ which i really hate to make you guys wait that long. ever since i started doing this, it's brought me joy, confidence, and freedom. it's allowed me to start feeling more secure and comfortable about myself. i know when i'm feeling particularly down, i can dress up and take pictures and it will perk me up and help me feel better, but with not being able to do this, it's gotten me really down and not feeling the greatest. i really, really enjoy my alone time, and because of me having been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and on the spectrum, sometimes i REALLY need my alone time because i have to calm down and sort my brain out. being around someone 24/7 in a very small space is overstimulating me a lot and stressing me out. i am so forever grateful for everyone here who subs or interacts with any of my other social media. i appreciate you all so much, and i always keep pushing for you guys 💖 obviously this is just a bump in the road, and a lot of people will say i need to get over it because it's not even a huge problem, but it's just really gotten to me afterall and i needed to let it out somewhere. i'm v sorry for venting like this as i know that's probably not what you're here for, but if you took the time to read this, i really appreciate it 💖 lots of love and hugs 💖 -Lotus 🌺
2021-11-20 21:21:36 +0000 UTC View Postcareful if u get too close, i might explode c; these boxers ..
careful if u get too close, i might explode c; these boxers created bubbles of chub and i think that's kinda cute :>
2021-11-16 20:23:04 +0000 UTC View Postmind if i vamp spam u real quick?
mind if i vamp spam u real quick?
2021-11-15 20:46:01 +0000 UTC View Postthis pic reminded me of Rim Yamaoka aka The Spirit from Dead..
this pic reminded me of Rim Yamaoka aka The Spirit from Dead by Daylight, so i edited it to look more like her. what do u think?? cx
2021-11-13 22:50:15 +0000 UTC View Posti just finished a show called Midnight Mass. it was a lot ab..
i just finished a show called Midnight Mass. it was a lot about religion, but the dark side of it. :o it spoke about a lot of different things, but one of the things it talked about was death. i've never been one to be super afraid of death! everyone eventually dies. i'm super curious about what happens to us after we die. personally, i believe a lot in reincarnation. what do you believe in?? hey.. you're pretty... killer c; -Lotus 🌺
2021-11-13 19:17:29 +0000 UTC View Postoutside i'm smilin, inside i'm the eric andre shirt
outside i'm smilin, inside i'm the eric andre shirt
2021-11-12 22:08:09 +0000 UTC View Posthappy halloween!! i just went to see a movie called Antlers ..
happy halloween!! i just went to see a movie called Antlers with some friends!! it was about the Wendigo!!! it was super cool, and being native american, the Wendigo is kind of an important legend to me!! so i thought it was super cool to see it come to life in a movie :> what are some of your favorite cryptids/legends?? and what are you up to for halloween?? look forward to hearing from you! 💖 -Lotus 🌺
2021-10-30 22:02:35 +0000 UTC View Postsometimes i hyperfixate on things hardcore! >_< it ends up t..
sometimes i hyperfixate on things hardcore! >_< it ends up taking over me for a few days/weeks. sometimes I'll be super fixated on watching an anime and then it'll switch to something else and i won't wanna watch anime for a while, which sucks bc i love anime TToTT right now it's horror movies/shows. i love ghost stories. i've had a lot of supernatural experiences in my life. maybe i'll share them sometime if you want :3 you're looking ~haunting~ tonight c; -Lotus 🌺
2021-10-16 17:48:33 +0000 UTC View Post