i feel like i've really found myself this past year. i was g..

i feel like i've really found myself this past year. i was getting over a breakup and having a rough time, feeling super insecure and not like myself at all. i wasn't happy for quite a while. i wasn't really sure where i was going with my content, or wasn't sure what i really liked. but as the year went on, i figured out that i was nonbinary and felt super comfortable going by they/them because she/her just felt... wrong. i stopped going by my real name almost completely with my irl friends and family bc it didn't feel right. i didn't feel like i was that person anymore. i changed a lot about myself. i started exploring aesthetics and styles and figuring out what fit me and what felt most comfortable. i still LOVE switching up my style, so that's probably never gonna change, but now i know what i really like! i'm excited to keep exploring looks and styles and make cool outfits :3 i also started listening to a lot of new music, stuff i haven't really touched on much in the past, and oh boy did i find my favorite types of music. i feel so happy listening to stuff that just fits me super well. i listen to almost anything, but it's super cool finding just... a plethora of music that you really, REALLY enjoy. :> i also started watching old shows i used to love when i was younger, so that's made me happy too! i started doing things for myself that i've never really done before. i realized i have always lived my life trying to please others or trying to live for others. not to get all sad, but i haven't had a very happy life, and as such didn't think i would make it this long. but i'm glad i was strong and pulled through! ToT i started really doing things i like, finding myself, and BEING myself, and it feels so nice. don't get me wrong, i still get sad, insecure, etc... i still have a lot of mental diagnoses that make life a little hard sometimes, but it's gotten easier to deal with since i started changing little things. i went on a plane and left my home for a week!!! i got diagnosed with agoraphobia, so leaving the house gets really hard sometimes, but i pushed myself out of my comfort zone and did it!! it was one of the most fun trips i've ever been on, and now that i KNOW i CAN do it, i want to do so much more! not to toot my own horn, but i'm so proud of myself. i think this past year has been super SUPER hard, but it was well needed. it has made me happier, more patient with not only others, but myself, and it's also been a lot of needed healing. i'm still human and get angry, hold grudges, stuff like that, but i've learned a lot. i've also been such a people pleaser all my life that it causes me not to see things for how they really are, and as such, i don't see red flags or the way people treat me unfairly. i used to just take it. but now i've started realizing that sometimes being selfish is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. now i realize how i should be treated by people, and now i know that when someone isn't treating me right, i shouldn't just take it just because i understand where they might be coming from. i deserve to be treated nicely, and so do YOU. never forget that. never let someone drag you down, lie to you, make you feel like an OPTION. never, never settle for people who make you feel small, or like you're "too much". you will NEVER be too much or not enough for the right people. if someone thinks these things, they're not for you. don't give these people second or 3rd chances. life is too short to not treat people how they deserve. most importantly, if you're on the other end of things, learn from your mistakes, realize how you might be in the wrong, and HEAL. don't go into a friendship/relationship expecting someone else to fix you. only YOU can do that. and also, don't try to fix yourself for OTHERS, do it for YOURSELF! i have met so many people this past year who i am sososo grateful for. some of the best friends on earth who understand me and my flaws, and who never fail to give me the constant reassurance i need. these people have made me feel so much more comfy being myself, especially around them. they make me laugh so hard i'm brought to tears. they're people i can truly relate to, and even though i haven't met some of them yet, i'm forever grateful for their existence. all of my friends hold such a warm place in my heart, and i will forever be grateful for these people who always have the best intentions for me. you all are so amazing, you know who you are!! this was sososo long, but if you read all this, thank you! i'm so happy with all the people i met, or anyone who has interacted with my posts this year. you guys are truly amazing, and i'm so happy to have all of you here! i legit couldn't do any of this without all ur kind words and amazing support c: i love you guys, here's to 2022! more growth, healing, learning, and more importantly, HAPPINESS! 💖💖