next up is right in alignment with the holidays. I wanted to make a video of what i would assume Santa's mistress was like :) I was also CRAVING blonde highlights but couldn't get my hair done because i filmed this mid lockdown so i bought a wig instead this is also one of my favorite edits yet. super proud of this one. half off in your dms bb!
2020-12-19 20:32:19 +0000 UTC View Postalrighty! let's do this! The first honorable mention spicy Saturday video is: "fuzzy memories" which preview do you like the best? :) << half off in your dms as soon as it loads lol >>
2020-12-19 18:32:41 +0000 UTC View PostI really wanna go live Tuesday night for TMT! https://onlyfans.com/83295974/zeta_bb
2020-12-19 17:38:39 +0000 UTC View Post
Good morning! Two things. Sales have been really, really down this month. I expected it, but still. I was also awake all last night with intense nerve pain/numbness in my legs, feet, and hands which means my body is under some sort of stress (sunlight and multiple sclerosis are directly linked so whenever this happens, I have this gut feeling it has to do with the lack of sunshine I get during the winter.) Anyways, Spicy Saturdays are incredibly labor-intensive and I don’t feel like putting all this energy out only to have the entire thing flop due to lack of sales. I’m basing this off of the statistics I'm seeing this month so I don’t want to overwork myself for no return, especially as my body isn't working properly today. Spicy Saturday will be back! I promise. Just not this week. Today I will be throwing it back to the rest of the videos I made for past Spicy Saturday. It was fun to look back through my creations last week :) I wanted to experience that again <3 I will still be streaming live this afternoon for some chill tea hangs and what not :) perhaps around 1pm? will update you on sc Also, I’m thinking of creating a goal to help get me out of this state sooner than the end of March. Sunshine needs to be a priority with my diagnosis. More on that soon. Love you guys, catching up on DMs now ♡
2020-12-19 14:24:40 +0000 UTC View Post
goodnight! if you enjoyed today’s fun fact, please show some love so I know you’re enjoying Fridays :) 143’s = love
2020-12-19 03:02:45 +0000 UTC View Post
Last but not least! Let’s talk about something that I recently changed my mind on! SUGAR & CARBS! Hear me out. Carbs are super cool because they are the primary energy source of the body. But carbs also require a ton of energy to be burned and utilized, which I really, really like about carbohydrates. Carbs are what fuels every single cell in your body, including the cells in your ovaries, your thyroid, your liver, your skin…they all require this energy source because carbs are so good at sparing protein and sparing our tissues and our structures. They are a metabolic powerhouse that not only protects us against stress but also keeps our body going in the best possible way. And before you were like, okay, carbs are good, but sugar is bad, right? I want you to know that sugar is a card and carbs are sugar. Every single carbohydrate breaks down into individual sugars. so if sugar is bad and carbohydrates are bad and therefore every single cell that your body is made up of might as well be running on something “bad” right? NEGATIVE! There are different types of sugars. Let’s start with glucose. Glucose is pure sugar. It's what the cells will actually uptake as energy. We have to remember that starches are pure glucose. So things like potatoes, white rice, pure starches are going to be pure glucose. They have no other sugars in them. The thing you have to understand about glucose is glucose requires insulin secretion. So it requires that hormone, that hormone insulin, that acts as a key to allow that glucose into the cell. So it requires every time you eat glucose, it requires you to secrete insulin. Now, if you're insulin resistant like most of us are, your cells are not going to respond to that. Insulin is going to respond poorly and not allow as much glucose into the cell. if you can't utilize the glucose and starches very well, it will probably go into the storage containers, AKA the fat cells. And that's when we gain weight when we're insulin resistant or we're not using carbohydrates properly. Now, this doesn't always mean we can’t eat starches at all. It just means we have to eat them smarter, which is why I’ve added in fructose when I eat my starches. Hear me out. Fructose is a sugar that's mostly found in fruits and honey, and this does not require any insulin to get to where it needs to go. Fructose is often going to be stored as something called glycogen in the liver and the muscle tissue, which is just simply glucose saved for later. So once the body stores our glycogen, the body can then turn that into glucose as it NEEDS and let the rest steadily stream into the blooodstream. So fructose is really, really good because it doesn't require any insulin. Fructose can actually help the body use glucose better, which is why it can be very helpful to actually pair our starches with fructose. It actually helps us metabolize carbohydrates and use carbohydrates better. And so I recommend combining all of your starches like potatoes, especially grains with some type of fruit to help you utilize it. Fun fact, raw honey, in particular, has an insulin-like substance that helps the cells take up bloood glucose without actually having to release insulin. This is why bears when they come out of hibernation, super insulin resistant, they're actually in an almost diabetic state from their hibernation. They will be on the hunt for fruit and honey, because it's going to help them regain insulin sensitivity and get out of that diabetic state. Now, let’s talk sucrose. Sucrose is actually a combination of both glucose and fructose, and it's very easy to use as energy because like we just talked about: glucose and fructose paired together as kind of like the perfect duo. It helps the body utilize glucose a lot better. And it also stores energy in the liver and the muscles to be used as a steady stream in between meals, which contrary to what society says. Is really great for bloood sugar! If you're eating enough protein and enough good fats, some simple sugars like white sugar and moderation will actually help you and not hurt you in any way, as long as it's paired with an all-around nutrient-dense diet. Sugar isn’t bad! It’s really the hydrogenated oils, the polyunsaturated fats, and the food additives that are TERRIBLE for us! Or so im learning. Context matters! Portions sizes matter. Obviously don't go downing cups and cups of white sugar, but I've been adding maple syrup into my coffee each morning to help my metabolism and I'm feeling great! I will keep you updated on the process of course but i wanted to share the science behind why sugar isn't actually the devil. sidenote: i don't drink coffee on an empty stomach. I eat a full breakfast THEN i have my maple syrup coffee (: it's better on the adrenals this way. I'm less shaky and sweaty this way too! references: https://raypeat.com/articles/articles/sugar-issues.shtml http://raypeat.com/articles/articles/glycemia.shtml
2020-12-19 01:20:52 +0000 UTC View Post
fun fact # 3 is I M P O R T A N T: and why I think the DSM-5 is fucking bullshit. How your body responds to stress is COMPLETELY dependent on your upbringing, your genes, how you were born (C section or not) and many many other factors. This means, how you respond to stress is totally different from every single person out there. It is special to you and you have to adapt to your own body’s needs, not what the internet or your neighbor Karen is telling you. I had a friend open up to me about his childhood and he started off with “but it’s nothing like yours so idk why im even complaining.” You could put someone next to me with different genes, a different childhood and throw them into the same experience I had wit GDP and it WOULD NOT IMPACT THEM THE SAME WAY. You can put someone through my same childhood, but they were birthed differently and they would not have the same stress response as I do. nature vs nurture plays such a big role in how we (we as in our cells/mind/entire being) take ahold of stress. Like I said before, there are so many different factors that impact how well we deal with stress. I was on a call with a friend I made from the autoimmune community and he was telling me about how regardless of what he does, he is super sensitive to sleep. We talked for a good 45 minutes about this because im the exact same way! If he stressed his body out way too much, he will watch his symptoms start to creep back up. (( as you know from me, everyone in the community tracks everythingggg lol so we can tell when something isn’t right )) And as we talked more about why this might be the case, we found similarities in our stories. We both had physically and emotionally distant parents. We were both C Sections. We were high performers in academia. And we both were from Eastern European descent. What’s crazy is his sister is the total opposite of him! She is resilient to all types of stress. She also has a different dad (different genes and upbringing) and went through a natural birth. For me, I become almost borderline/bipolar on little to no sleep. My brain completely shuts down, I become impulsive, my mood swings up and down, side to side. And I’ve tracked it down to my fucking SLEEP. My cells are sensitive, probably, for the same reason my friend Danny’s cells are sensitive too. We were put through more stress than, say, Danny’s sister was. And the DSM-5 would EASSSSILLLYYYY diagnose me as bipolar when I'm in this state. I’ve been diagnosed with a couple of different personality disorders without ever being asked about my life experiences or habits. Which is fucking BULLSHIT because putting a smol kid on mood stabilizers not only fucks with their development, but it impacts how they view themself. It impacted how I viewed myself for many years. That's why I hate the DSM-5 :D :D :D fucking hate it. It has caused so much pain and suffering in my life. No one was ever curious about what things were like for me, they were just chasing symptoms. But I guess that’s for another time. Regardless, knowing what turns your stress on is so important. Again, this goes back to knowing your body and paying attention. Don’t compare yourself and your body to others who have a completely different experience/story than you! It’s not fair to either party. Your stress/trauma experience is just as valid as someone else’s. You are the only person with your story, therefore, you are the only person who has set responses to stress. That needs to be understood. Thoughts?
2020-12-18 23:06:03 +0000 UTC View Post
fun fact number two: your body knows best // what makes you a good friend? Your body knows more than your mind knows. Through my MDMA session in NYC, we talked about the friend I was having a lot of issues with. The one who is getting married soon. I spoke about this a couple of times this year over sc. He framed it as “well, you’re less available with your work.” And I framed it as “you’re less intimately available to me because now you have someone to fill that space.” We were making excuses for drifting apart and when I met him for a drink before winter hit, I remember we tried to come up with a plan of how my actions would change. I would call him more often. I would put myself out there in his life more. But during my session, I came to the realization that this friendship wasn’t a healthy one. And my body knew it. There was a reason I was pulling away, I just wasn’t present enough in my body to understand it. There was a reason I didnt have this desire to pick up the phone and call him and it had nothing to do with his current relationship and everything to do with the fact that he just wasn’t a good friend to me. During my session, we dissected what I need in a friend. To me, being a good friend is less about flexing your good news to the people who are down to listen and more about vulnerability. It’s more about connecting and collecting insights into what troubles and worries you, so that they can, in turn, feel less lonely with the pains of their own hearts. This way, you become a better friend because you see that what friendship is really about is sharing of vulnerability. Of course, celebrating wins together is so important, but having that be the base of your relationship males it shallow and unfulfilling long term. And in order to have that shared vulnerability, you need to be curious about the other person when they are vulnerable in front of you. This friend didn’t give me any of this. No curiosity, No vulnerability. Just stories of how amazing his life was going and when I didn't match his excitement every time he had something new and exciting to share, I was deemed a bad friend. Coming to this understanding was painful and I had to release a lot of what I thought this person was to me. It can be painful to release but it doesn’t mean it’s not warranted, you know? Do you agree with my definition of a good friend? What are your thoughts? Dm or comment below, im v v v interested to hear :)
2020-12-18 21:05:33 +0000 UTC View Post
Okay! So! The first fun fact is a personal fact. I had a huge epiphany this week. I was sitting on FT with my therapist who lives in Portland and we were discussing past traumatic events. I was confused because I didn’t think talking about it over and over was doing much. So he let me lead, “Well, let’s talk about the present. Because it seems you’re doing really, really well. Let’s talk about what has worked. What has brought you up to this space.” Through this conversation, I came to the conclusion that maybe, JUST MAYBE, healing isn’t so much about dissecting the past and “fixing” a broken childhood, a broken family, or broken experiences that separated you from who you were supposed to become. What if healing is all about simply experimenting with new patterns and rhythms of thinking? What is the goal of healing is to start to pay attention to where you are in life and how you got here. Pay attention to what makes you feel whole and keep doing that thing! Regardless of what it is (as long as it's not hurting you or others!) To release the word “fixing” and replacing it with the word “experimenting” takes away the negative connotations and allows for a more freeing response to the trauma you experienced. Like I said last week, trauma splits you into little pieces. Whether it’s from some big event or what feels like a small detachment from the self as a youngin, the goal for healing is to come back to the whole self. And to keep trying new things! New relationships. New adventures. Some of them will work out so well that they will heal your entire heart. Some will set you back, motivating you more to get better and better which each new experiment. The beauty of this approach is you get to choose what works and what doesn’t! Society doesn’t get to pick for you. Your parents don’t get to pick for you. Not your friends, your neighbors, or even your partner. You get to pick these for yourself. It requires honesty, of course, and being honest with ourselves is a whole different topic BUT isn’t it comforting to know that we can be completely wrong about our worst assumptions about ourselves? And that we can also be completely right about a secret suspicion that maybe, just maybe, we are divine and powerful in a human disguise? I let others pick my major in college. I hated neuroscience. I hated it hated it hated it. I let other so-called “friends” diminish my power. I let my family and religion decide what was moral and immoral. It wasn’t until I removed myself from all that wasn’t working (my family, my past friend group, graduating college) that I began to naturally do things that made me feel whole again. My body knew what it needed and once i was out of the environment, I began to experiment. And here we are. This work makes me feel whole. I feel so connected to myself and to everyone I meeet through my job. I sometimes can’t even go to sleep at night im so happy with where im at. I even wake up early some days because I’m so excited for a new day. That’s a new feeling for me and I know that my old friends/life wouldn’t accept this part of my life fully and it kept me split into these different versions of me. My therapist explained to me that it’s about figuring out why you do this work. It doesn’t matter if it STARTED with your trauma. What matters is you’re connected, you’re happy, you’re not hurting yourself, and you’re following your heart. Anyone else’s opinion means nothing. Not even close friends and/or family. “You have the power over your own decisions, not them.” Do more of what makes you feel whole. Who cares if it's taboo or against society’s norms. Who cares if you look forward every day to making connections on OF. I fucking H A T E when someone is in my DMs explaining to me about how naughty he is for being in this space and how he shouldn't be enjoying talking with me as much as he is simply because onlyfans isn't socially acceptable. REMOVE THE WORD "SHOULDNT." Take it out of your fcking vocabulary!! If you feel most alive while you’re talking with other people around the world THEN KEEP DOING THAT! Again, as long as it’s not hurting you, your loved ones or the model involved….why would you stop? Who cares I like making erotic films and streaming live if it makes me feel whole and connected to my authentic self? If it brings me this close to myself....why would i stop?
2020-12-18 18:08:27 +0000 UTC View Postgood morning good morning! fun facts start after I'm back from the salon (thank you gman and disco!!!) for now, please don't forget about the TMT goal :) https://onlyfans.com/83295974/zeta_bb
2020-12-18 15:09:21 +0000 UTC View Posti love the in-between blond look :)
2020-12-17 21:05:57 +0000 UTC View Post
would sacrifice my hips for some abs for like a day then I want my hips back :)) #tbt
2020-12-17 20:32:54 +0000 UTC View Post
look into my eyes and tip me $5 🌀🌀🌀
2020-12-17 19:03:15 +0000 UTC View Post
hey friends posting Tease Me Tuesday's goal today so we have 5 days to kill it! beat this and ill log online Tuesday with the sole purpose of teasing TF out of youuuuuu :)
2020-12-17 18:07:13 +0000 UTC View Post
every thursday i send out retired/throwback content! today's content includes: ✨ one retired boy/girl video ✨ one massage boy/girl bundle ✨ one retired solo video ✨ one throwback solo video ✨ and one spiiiicy throwback video.
2020-12-17 17:13:30 +0000 UTC View Postbtw, thanks for all the love on my dancing video! It’s so cute how much y’all love those :’)
2020-12-17 14:40:25 +0000 UTC View Postgoooood morning and happy throwback Thursday (: does anyone miss blondie?
2020-12-17 14:20:05 +0000 UTC View Postgoodnight! thanks for a great workout wednesday :))
2020-12-17 04:31:03 +0000 UTC View Post
and yall know i had to drop some dancing this week to go along with cardio :) I JUST found this song this week and i absolutely adore it. I think I've listened to it 30 times already. lol.
2020-12-17 03:08:37 +0000 UTC View Postscroll for the next workout :) SO MUCH JUNK IN THA TRUNK gotdamn
2020-12-17 00:48:12 +0000 UTC View Post
the next workout is in your dms cuz...phew.....those are some SPICY angles
2020-12-16 22:42:24 +0000 UTC View Postscroll for the next workout :) btw! you can thank disco for these nood vibes (: THANK YOU DISCO!
2020-12-16 20:40:03 +0000 UTC View PostLETS DO THIS! scroll through for the first cardio work out :)
2020-12-16 18:29:50 +0000 UTC View PostI am so grateful that we get to do another naked workout wednesday together Thank you. ♥️💫✨
2020-12-16 17:01:22 +0000 UTC View Postgood morning cuties! you have until noon to vote (: 51: cardio 10: abs 10: glutes https://onlyfans.com/82317983/zeta_bb
2020-12-16 14:07:49 +0000 UTC View Postplease dont forget about workout wednesday! https://onlyfans.com/82317983/zeta_bb
2020-12-16 04:44:34 +0000 UTC View Post
