fun fact number two: your body knows best // what makes you ..

fun fact number two: your body knows best // what makes you a good friend? Your body knows more than your mind knows. Through my MDMA session in NYC, we talked about the friend I was having a lot of issues with. The one who is getting married soon. I spoke about this a couple of times this year over sc. He framed it as “well, you’re less available with your work.” And I framed it as “you’re less intimately available to me because now you have someone to fill that space.” We were making excuses for drifting apart and when I met him for a drink before winter hit, I remember we tried to come up with a plan of how my actions would change. I would call him more often. I would put myself out there in his life more. But during my session, I came to the realization that this friendship wasn’t a healthy one. And my body knew it. There was a reason I was pulling away, I just wasn’t present enough in my body to understand it. There was a reason I didnt have this desire to pick up the phone and call him and it had nothing to do with his current relationship and everything to do with the fact that he just wasn’t a good friend to me. During my session, we dissected what I need in a friend. To me, being a good friend is less about flexing your good news to the people who are down to listen and more about vulnerability. It’s more about connecting and collecting insights into what troubles and worries you, so that they can, in turn, feel less lonely with the pains of their own hearts. This way, you become a better friend because you see that what friendship is really about is sharing of vulnerability. Of course, celebrating wins together is so important, but having that be the base of your relationship males it shallow and unfulfilling long term. And in order to have that shared vulnerability, you need to be curious about the other person when they are vulnerable in front of you. This friend didn’t give me any of this. No curiosity, No vulnerability. Just stories of how amazing his life was going and when I didn't match his excitement every time he had something new and exciting to share, I was deemed a bad friend. Coming to this understanding was painful and I had to release a lot of what I thought this person was to me. It can be painful to release but it doesn’t mean it’s not warranted, you know? Do you agree with my definition of a good friend? What are your thoughts? Dm or comment below, im v v v interested to hear :)