don't forget to swipe for the fun pics!!
ps: i'm messaging tomorrow. i'm messaging tomorrow. i'm MESSAGING TOMORROW. the catching up & apologizing part is so hard lol and that's what i've now been avoiding for many months. so pls hype me
pps: looks like my live's gonna be some time saturday night :)
should i go live thursday, saturday, or sunday (night)? :)
i'm actually gonna do what i said i'd do for once & go live again this week. i had fun on my last one!! maybe i'll even try to make this one more fun for youuuu too, but no guarantees.
one of the biggest downsides to OF [for me] is how much i have to look at my own butthole and pussy. i'm waaaay too familiar with them at this point. that shit ain't fun you guys hahahaha. plus the initial π¬πΆπ«£π΅βπ«π€ feeling when i post closeups.... it's ok tho, i'm ok, i love this. so if staring at my butt for hours every week is the price i have to pay, then imma happily do it π and i'll only complain occasionally
if you follow me on instagram, you know i refilm this video like every week π and that's like 50 takes each week because i usually flash my tits & or pussy. and instagram is not worthy.
also, do you think i have a lisp? i'll be sad if u say yes, but also it's not a bad thing so i'll survive. painful truth is better than lies!! lol. i've only been told i have a small one a few times in real life but people constantly say it on instagram, and it kinda super gets to me π but i personally don't hear it. it does look like it with volume off though.... but i spent a year in speech therapy as a yung lad & had many pizza parties for killin it... just saying. this is an insecurity of mine but like it's a silly one. and it looks like it at the end which is what led to a whole paragraph on the subject haha
my kinks have been getting increasingly concerning/weird... like i can't even get myself to type them out yet. my brain needs to chill tf out hahahaha. i don't like to kink shame, but damn i'm struggling not to kink shame myself (nothing "wtf is wrong w you? that's not ok", just like "girl are u good?")
i've bought so many sexyyyy dresses this month... i don't have anywhere to wear them, but they make me feel good and maybe one day i'll get to wear them out πβΊοΈ but i owned 1 bodycon dress before, and now i own at least 10. it's amaaaaaazing
*personal/big oversharing mental health life update* haha
hiiii... so there's still nothing too exciting or noteworthy going on with me, but i realized i haven't actually talked to you in awhile and some people like my updates π
so my therapist went on maternity leave last week which i was really stressed about since she's been my main support for awhile. but i think it's the push i needed to actually do the work we've (my therapist & i) been talking about for the past year.
the changes i've made so far include:
dating again. i'm a lot more confident now and feel like i *might* have a chance at that. i'm also finally prioritizing self care & hobbies and have signed up for sewing classes, pole classes (i finally put my pole back up... did i mention that?? idk), and a few other fun activities. i'm suuuuper social & extroverted, so i know that one of the main reasons i've been so dysfunctional is lack of socialization. before onlyfans, i was out with friends everyday, but honestly neglected those relationships & have hung out with friends maaaaybe 15 times in the past 3 years. so i think if i follow through w this & create balance in my life, i should be able to manage my page better. ik i've said this many times before, but i've yet to focus on the things that actually matter for my mental health. i'm also switching medications which i was too scared to do until now, but it's extremely necessary since i've been rapid cycling (mania, depression, mania, depression, mania, depression) constantly for a lonnnnng time. one day i feel so together & optimistic and the next i can't get out of bed. def no way to live!!
another big thing (for me... like all of this haha) is that i did maybe 5 emdr sessions and no longer feel guilt or shame for doing onlyfans. that's definitely the thing i've struggled with the most... i was so conflicted for the longest time & felt like i was on the wrong path. emdr has helped me separate my family's opinions from my own and have empathy for myself. i feel like i'm right where i'm supposed to be :) now i just need to figure out how to get over texting anxiety because that's another thing that's been majorly affecting my life...
okay that's all. hopefully i'll have something more exciting to share soon, but the main point is that i'm on the up & up and finally heading in a good direction! woo hooooo
kinda having a really bad day :( think you can help me feel better? π₯Ί hehe
no, but actually though... today sucked major dick. the type of dick i can only DREAM of sucking. ass would be a better analogy, but i don't really dream of sucking ass tbh, so i went with dick
i hope you are happy!! and if not, i hope you are working on it & seeing progress <3
(my next post will be pussy pics... i was gonna today, but don't feel they belong with this caption/message)
it's been a rough couple days... my toys are all dead & i've been too lazy to charge them, but extra horny, so now my hand hurts :( life is so hard. haha... anyways... happy new year!! did you do anything fun? and do you have any new year's resolutions? (no & no for me) ππ
β’ hey youuuu :) i hope you had a great christmas or chill time off if you don't/didn't celebrate!!
β’ i have nightmares about not liking creampies irl as much as in my head. jk no i don't, but that *would* be a major fu king bummer
β’ my page will be more personal again soon. in all ways! π€π€π€
imagine if AI could replace the guy/girl in porn vids with YOU, and you could watch yourself fucking instead? just imagine. what a beautiful concept π as of 5 minutes ago, it's my dream.
heyyyy :) i'm sorry i haven't been posting... i've had my hands full with rewriting my to do list + goals & detailed plans to reach them over & over & over again π plus having a manic episode. mania is a freaking party compared to depression though so i'm having a good time. i sincerely hope you're doing well and having a good time too π
should i, or should i not, pierce my nips? (i know i already asked, but my conclusion was based on 12 comments and i was asked for a recount. a recount seems fair. i'm a fair gal. so here we go...)
do i pierce my nips...? yes or no? i'm completely neutral but like change and will therefore actually take the answer that majority give in comments hehe. so if you feel strongly one way or the other... speak now or forever hold your peace
i wish you could play with them π₯Ί
ps: a lottttt of people ask about the bandaid and i've mostly just ignored the topic, but it's just covering a tattoo. initially, i was trying to hide it so that if anyone recognized me i could be like oh, but does she have this tattoo? that's obviously not me (dumb bc like... duh hahahaha) but the reason i've continued to cover it is that it's ugly af and doesn't match my ~vibe~ lol. i also never wanted a tattoo... even vocalized that i'd NEVER get one, and then my 18th bday rolled around, i was high (the type you get when you're a new smoker/have no tolerance and it's hits you like another drug lol), and my friend recommended i get one. an hour later, i had one lmao. currently getting it removed π€ͺ i find tattoos hot on others... not for me though. especially not this one.
pps: MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 13 DAYSSSSSS