Father’s Day is over/kinda triggering if i’m being honest cause i don’t really have a relationship with my dad, but i like to think of it as “father’s day is everyday with my internet zaddies” 😇 thanks for allowing me to project my daddy issues and filling my void of the fatherly divine male attention 💕🙇🏻♀️ i take that shit so seriously lmao i need to chill the fuck out. this post is emo cringe so here’s some sexy nun pics from my outfit change at the party 🎉🖤✝️ u like?
idiot Shinji….. 🙄 swipe for my Asuka look ❣️🥵❤️🔥 but okay can we talk about how i’m going to my first pandemic party tonight lol i’m so excited cause it’s my best friend’s birthday and i suggested the theme lol 😂 but my introvert ass is also exhausted just thinking about it.
the party is God themed… not as a dogmatic man in the sky but God as whatever people may interpret it as. whatever concept they attach to it, whether it be literal Gods/Saints/apostles, lack of God, zealots, cult leaders, deities and devotees (kind of like a Met Gala theme if any of you follow that lol), goddesses (like me lolol jk), entities like the ocean that provide existential wonder, Adam and Eve, etc… i’ve been thinking of outfits all day and then it hit me i’ve been watching Neon Genesis Evangelion a lot (A LOT 😭 😭 😭 omg horny and existential show) 👼🏻 🤖 and it covers so many divine esoteric topics and questions like … why are the angels attacking? are angels UFOs? what messages do these entities have for us? what does it mean to evolve into a higher vibrational existence? what is the relationship of man to God? is God’s love truly unconditional? does God hate humanity or does humanity hate itself? what if God was an anime girl? and a meme of the last question inspired me, so yes i am going to be attending a party dressed as a horny meme in cosplay. have a good weekend!! 🎈🎈❣️
like my pastel blue hair and pale ass? i’m considering going full blue 🦋 💦 i change my hair so much it’s like you get to look at a different girl every week 🤭
mommy really needs a massage 😓 💦 after the past few stressful ass months I've had, my body feels like the crypt keeper, and while I've sought mental health help, I haven't been too focused on other forms of self care. so, it would be really really nice to have a relaxing massage - I'll make sure you get some benefits from benefiting me 😉 but also if I've ever made u smile or cum it would be really nice to get treated a lil bit ✨ 🥰
*19 - full set from the last time I had a spa experience (it was like a very fancy bath lol, not a massage or anything but still really cool and aesthetically pleasing and wet and naked) 💦 all the photos and videos from my spa bath experience, if you enjoyed any of my previous bath/shower videos you might like me getting naughty at the spa bath 🥵
29 - you choose your own XXX horny adventure: either an 11:11 minute long angelic sex tape (have u ever seen an angel cum? you will now 🙈) or an 8min latex sex tape of me touching myself thru crotchless panties 🖤 🥵
50 - both the angel one + the latex one 😇 😈
69 - all of the above! and photos + videos of the aftermath of me touching myself 🥵 it's a lot of hornyy*
+ everyone who contributes will get an xtra special new photo set from when I get my massage (last pic is a previewww lol cause I just felt like posting a horny pic) 💗 💙 ...like my body? help it feel nice if you want to ✨ ⭐️ 🥺
thank you so much for contributing to my self care ❤️ anything that exceeds the goal will go towards my sick cat's medication and treatments so it's all really helpful. if this flops like a flaccid penis I shall do something else. I would hope tho that I make u the opposite of flaccid 😉 😳 😏
hello 🌹 ahh finally i got my computer repaired and will begin making new content next week 🥺🥺 it’ll take me more than a couple days to get all my files organized, but yayyy i just wanted to let you know there will be stuff to look forward to, and thank you so much for being patient w me ❤️ i’ve had a really rough time the past few months and am anxiously awaiting to feel like a person again, starting with having a working computer ❤️🔥 thank u again 😭
cow shower video! 🐮 🐄 🚿 (also long post ahead so just a lil ⚠️ Wednesday warning ⚠️ )
posting this at a weird time but insomnia be damned. a throwback to the last time I got a hotel 🖤 ahhh ok so after my last campaign I booked a room at a cute hotel, one that has super pink princess vibes that I think you'll like a lot, at the end of June. I know it's a bit of time to wait, but still I'm super excited - much new hotel content incoming, and the ppl who tipped on that post will get juicy extras 💗 I'm really excited to have something to look forward to cuz honestly I've been having an existential and melancholic past few days (eclipse season? my fragile psyche?) and just in general been feeling disillusioned.
✨ *most of the time, what I post is catered to you. however, this is indulgently for me. sorry in advance...* ✨
the majority of you here are very respectful and so pleasant to interact with; I feel lucky to have cool subscribers. a lot of weird cool people gravitate towards me and that's awesome, I appreciate you! however every once in a while I will encounter people who cross my boundaries who I immediately have to block, or block after a taxing interaction. I shouldn't be complaining cause I love what I do and I love my job (and yes, this is a job - just like you have your office job or desk job or service job, and this is my source of income) but there are some days when I log on and log right back off because I'm mentally exhausted and have to take the day to reconcile with feeling dehumanized. this comes with the territory but it still sucks.
I don't mind being objectified - in fact I like being the object of your fantasy*. hell, I objectify myself all the time. I love being the digital projection of your cyberhorny desires. I love hearing about your fetishes and bringing them to life. I love that you think I'm hot and I kind of am in consistent disbelief that people find me attractive. it's all very Baudrillardian and hyperreal. in the words of Rachael from Blade Runner, I'm not in the business, I *am* the business. I *am* the fantasy. I *am* the product. however there is a difference between being objectified and being dehumanized. it's strange detangling a passion project that intersects with being a service job. and much like in the real world where there are assholes who fail to tip waitstaff or are assholes to valets/baristas/servers/nurses, there are such people here who fail to consider that underneath my thigh highs and elven anime tits I am simply a person with feelings, goals, desires, good days, bad days, just trying to exist in this fucked up dystopian world. just trying to make some juicy art and make some filthy conceptual porn lol 😂
in February I started working very loosely on a thesis that I wish to get academically published, that pertains to the metaphysics of doing online SW and my experience of only fans in particular. and don't worry - if this thesis cums to fruition I will not cite any specific interactions because that is all private between us, i respect your privacy as I expect you to do mine, and the whole point of this piece of writing is to explore my being on here conceptually, existentially, ontologically. this has more to do with me trying to create clarity out of chaos on a bigger level, using only fans as my artistic medium. all I mainly want is to make sense of my life and heal my traumas through art and introspection.
every year my art practice takes on a different path; last year I made an album (I'm still making music this year but nothing released publicly yet); in 2019 and 2018 I made experimental films; this year I feel called to write, and I consider OF a complete art form all in itself, so this thesis would dovetail my passions quite elegantly (or so I hope lol).
truthfully I haven't worked on it too much because I find my creativity derailed by depression, but every once in a while I will have a writing spurt and an a-ha moment and totally violate my notebook or fuck shit up on notes app lol. I occasionally will post long form essays (?) like this on this one over here too - shockingly some of you enjoy them which is why my crazy ass continues to free associate up in this bitch.
yes income is very important to me, and of course I want to make a living, I am immensely immensely thankful to y'all who contribute to me. my trajectory as an obscure artist to someone who can pay my rent with this is not something I take for granted - but notwithstanding in the grander picture I think a lot of people miss the point of why I personally do this. the last thing I want is to keep explaining myself. I resent doing that, I prefer my art to be interpreted by the viewer. however when my work is so intimately tied to my body and personality, I too often feel the need to explain myself. I kind of go back and forth on that - I think in the near future I will make a pinned post about the mechanics of my profile, a more comprehensive tip menu, links to my past films for those who wish to see, etc.
I don't know the longevity of how long I will continue. I wish to do this for as long as possible, but if it gets not fun for me anymore, then I see no point. for the near future tho as far as I can see, I still love it 💗 it's just isolated days/episodes that get exhausting. do you ever get frustrated at work? yeah, same. but thankfully it's only temporary, just a moment in time.
my goal is to have this thesis finished, at least in a long outline form, by the end of the year. with the demotivation that comes with my depression I may have to give myself an extension into 2022, but I also know that when I'm truly inspired I work very fast. like Sonic lol 😂 💙 I see a lot of creators making stuff like "this is how I got successful on OF" "these are the formulaic instructions on how to become a top creator" etc. and while I think yesss get that bag sis, I think a lot of those posts are cringe and bunch of bullshit and emotionally masturbatory and full of ego; there's a lot of dark psychological undercurrent that gets left out of the conversation. maybe it's because I think of things in a very dense and obtuse and academic way (of course I would be the fucking bitch to make only fans pretentious lmao - someone called me " a mix of Riley Reid and Sylvia Plath" recently and I am actually flattered by that) 💗 or maybe it is because I'm jealous of the 18 years old who make 20k a month on those formulaic promotional strategies and basic nudes lol - I believe if I followed a formula to completion and really studied the market, taking 10-12hrs out of my day to suck the algorithm's dick, I could have a very high amount of success and subscribers. however, I would rather cater to my niche and feel the freedom of posting the type of content that's true to my vision, some of it maybe being more generic and pornographic, others more obscure and conceptual. I hate marketing and advertising. the people who need to find me will find me and it will be aligned. when I look back at the end of my life I want to be proud of putting my heart and soul into my work (art, porn, writing, existing, whatever) and I always say this to myself, I want to be eternal instead of trendy.
society is such that most people will gravitate towards what is easily digestible. most men consume the same type of porn, the subset of it being veryyoung women of the fetishized 18-19 age range. (hmm I actually will probably put a chapter about this in my thesis). I literally had someone unsubscribe from my page his exact words being "eww I thought you were like 18-19" 🙄 I'm in my late 20s and I have posts about going to college, applying to grad school, holding down a professional job in my past industry, being a working artist, etc. so basically dude was stupid af 😂 I get that t33ns/age are fetishized in a creepy way and to each their own, but I personally still find it exploitative and cringe. (he was in his mid 30s for reference...) 🥴 if me being older than you think is a problem, go ahead and unsubscribe. for what it's worth tho, when I was 18-19 or even in my early 20's I was so busted looking lol and even more seriously struggling with mental health issues which showed on my body that I could have never found success on OF or anywhere that involved looks; I still have pain but I manage it and take much better care of myself now. I was like psychedelics-obsessed super nerd and a crypto prodigy in the early years of its genesis. I don't fuck with it anymore but maybe my next post will be about that - the origin story of how I bought my Tesla and how my whole life I was an egirl lol. when I was little I would play video game championships and win a lot of stuff, mostly Pokemon merch. I'm still a super nerd in a hot girl's body so I might be living my dream. I didn't choose this life, this life chose me 😤
* btw... yes I like being an object of your fantasy but not your reality - oh my goddd I can't believe this even needs to be said but do not even ask about seeing me irl it is an absolute no-no and will get you blocked! if I ever have like a convention or a party or something that I want strangers to attend I will publicly announce it, and it will not be in a sexual context, more along the lines of an art show, but that is so fucking far into the future I cannot even fathom right now. I don't think you guys understand the extreme pathological anxiety that I deal with every day. I'm an individual with big dreams and small serotonin.
that's it! eat it and chew it. I have nothing more for you today; I am taking a sabbatical. tomorrow I'll be back with the regular sexycontent. I got my laptop back finally so I have my work cut out for me -- organizing over 100,000 of my naughty media files which is a herculean task, and then making brand new content for you soon! 🥺 something to look forward to this month. those of you for whom this post wasn't a turn off, thank you for reading 💗🥺
hiiiii ok idk what to post today so here you go another selection of elf ass pics 😅 hopefully you are not tired of seeing this same ass every day tho 🍑 😳
btw kind of ASSinine i have over 700 posts and over 3000 photos 🤯 wtf how did that happen over the course of a year it kind of blows my mind sometimes i'm like what the hell i really did that. i'm curious, do you ever go through my past posts and revisit my horny catalogue, or do you only look at new stuff?
not to get all Eyes Wide Shut again (you know you love it 😈) but if i started a sexy secret society called the illuminASSi, would you join my elite cult? the only requirement is you have to worship my ass 🎎
i posted my blonde titties but how could i forget about my ass lovers? 💛🎀
asking the important questions here (you know, for science...) 😳 how do you want to fuck me under this Eyes Wide Shut poster?
this is one of my favorite movies ever, i love how it explores sexuality and the symbolism of the erotic and the anonymous: it kind of reflects some aspects of how i feel about doing OF and the anonymity of the disconnected sexual experience. i consider digital interactions quite real; we’re living in a time where we exist in multiple realities and our phones are like appendages. they’re basically our limbs at this point. still, the disconnect/connect duality is one that psychologically uniquely affects our generation. i am real; and yet i am a simulation. i am dead, and yet i live. how does this relate to Eyes Wide Shut? there’s a lot of shadow aspects to this duality of double lives, and fantasy plays a major role.
it’s kind of like a dark night of the soul trajectory, with highly sexually charged undercurrents, exploring the roles of fantasy both for an individual and within a relationship. of course the secret society orgy is beyond iconic lol visually and metaphorically and existentially 😆 ✨ such a weird and beautiful film, Stanley Kubrick is a horny legend 🎭 he died six days after showing the final cut of this film, so to say he went out with a bang is an understatement.
if you like your Kubrick with a side of thicccness, here i am i gotchu 💋
POV you wake up and this is the first thing you see in the morning, wyd? 🐏 🌙 🐑 no i don’t want to get out of bed, *YOU* get back here and join *me* 😩 🐑
omg.....a campaign for my water damaged laptop with my actually most naughty XXX videos ever 🥺🙈😭
i’m ready to make new stuff in june once i resurrect my laptop, this campaign is the last in the series of my past sex tapes. i think i saved the best for last. hopefully you’ll agree 🖤💖💚
*25 = goth girl sex tape 🖤see me succing and fuccing and switching positions a lot, getting fucked from every angle - vertical and horizontal format videos around ~8 mins
44 = goth girl sex tape + unreleased videos from my succubussy sex tape, fucking a big green monster dildo front and back in slow motion and in regular 🥵 the OG succubussy tape is kind of iconic and i have a lot of leftover material from it around ~15 mins
77 = my first and only !! triple !! penetration !! video 🙈 🙈 🙈 💚as a dark elf princess💚 omf this really be my emergency sex tape and it’s probably the dirtiest thing i ever filmed - filling all my holes!!!! it’s two videos - i build up to stuff my holes with three dildos, i can't believe i even made that happen!! this was some nasty elf princess sex, i even read some of Karl Marx kapital while i'm riding 🥵~16 minutes
95 = you get all of the above!!!
contributions over 100$ will also receive a special video!* 😳
PS. since it’s memorial day.... anyone who contributes today will get pictures of me at the beach reading Sylvia Plath with no bra no panties on under my innocent looking sundress 🙊 🥵 and i’ll confess to you a really embarrassing story that happened today 😅
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
my computer was water damaged nearly a month ago - there was a fire in my kitchen and a table was set ablaze (only minor damage, i’m fine, everything is fine except i doused my laptop right after and didn’t notice till later) and long story short after failed self repair attempts i took it to multiple places, each quoted me 1300-1500 range, for that i might as well get a new laptop except this was a brand new 2020 macbook pro 😞 my data is *mostly* backed up, i lost a huge chunk of content but i still have a lot (like these!) backed up on hard drives. however all my editing software was on it so i was without a working computer for almost a month and couldn't even work properly or make/edit new content - my May consisted of just phone pics and unreleased sex tapes from the past. thank you endlessly for supporting me through this btw.
the place i took my computer to is fixing it for 1000 and idk about making my goal 1000 if that would actually reach. even 500 would be really fucking helpful and it's is the biggest goal i’ve made on here... i’m a little nervous about it, if it flops i’ll try something else. if by the lord’s miraculous grace it somehow exceeds, i will post a brand new sex tape straight up on my feed as a thank you to everyone, for your viewing pleasure 💕
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
thank you so much this would really help me get started on making + editing new content asap❤️❤️❤️
computer repairs for me + filthy ethical porn for you = deal? ❤️🥺
May photo post 😳 💕 damn this month really has been so exceptionally weird. i know photo sets are usually preferred to random compilations like this and i should break it up into several posts but i’m like 😵 any of you also have time periods where you’re really impacted by depression and dissociation? i’ve been having a hard time focusing and staying present and staying organized. like idk how to even explain it, it’s like i’m there but not there at all. 🦋 experiencing art i enjoy has helped me process this a little bit, and consuming art but not making it has been therapeutic for me, if that makes sense. idk if anything i’m saying makes sense or it’s all just solipsistic nonsense 🥴
wanted to ask, while i’m in this halfway inspiration / alienation point, what would y’all think of me doing more content about the kind of art and books and concepts and stuff i like that inspires me and kinda deconstruct my process? i would still post nudes of course lol but i’d include posts with a more consciously art related vibe (i mean i kind of already do that lol but i would want to make it more streamlined, clear, and hopefully interesting) 🎀 🗡 thank u
first of all i will take any excuse to show you my tarantitties and tarantussy lmao 😂 long post! ⚠️‼️
i already posted this on reddit but i delete my posts on there all the time and i’m inspired to expand on it here. something that has been helping me recently with depression and derealization is being consciously present while watching/listening to/consuming media and art i really like. i got gifted a Tarantino book (this poster was a gift as well 💛❤️) i’ve been reading thru it recently it’s like interviews and retrospective and an insight into his creative process. i know he has a lot of haters too but i love that he introduces a lot of obscure film stuff into the mainstream, it’s quite a feat🦶
it’s inspiring to me cause i’ve always wanted to be a filmmaker (i guess in a way i am, i make my sex tapes as cinematic as possible lol and i have made experimental films that i want to expand on in the future that are still pretty horny but not like pornographic) and whenever i wanna give up i’m like some of my fave artists like him and david lynch etc didn’t make their first works until they were older, so it’s okay for me to take time off and not burn out. it’s not a competition and everyone has their own path - capitalism however pits us against each other and that is so wrong. QT and lynch both talk a lot about burnout too, and how their films conceal personal themes but within genre, and i find that v important. the toxic grind culture can suck my whole ass. i just wanna make good shit and be inspired by cool shit.
True Romance is one of my fave movies ever, i even named the main character of my first film Clarence 🖤 i love Kill Bill too. some standing on the shoulders of giants shit. i hope if i continue to make art i’ll inspire some standing on the bussys of giants visionary shit 😩 fame and popularity are arbitrary; at the end of my lifetime when i look back on my career etc i want to feel like i’ve accomplished something that’s eternal instead of trendy. even with my OF i’ve enjoyed doing the work even tho i’m not the most popular creator; having a niche audience is actually more appealing to me because the few people who will like my stuff will *really* like it, and i can feel like i have a bit of tegridy lol 🌲 growing up i’ve never had a normal life, in any aspect, and that’s been both a treasure and a trauma. i play by no ones rules, not even my own.
i’ve always wanted to do the crazy unhinged shit that no one else wants to do, but make it sexy. i’ve had the realization recently that a lot of my idols are male (QT, lynch, carl jung, tim leary, terence mckenna etc) and i’ve always wanted to fill a female role in these very masculine visionary fields. i don’t need or even want to be hugely popular but i do want to compile an archive of my multidisciplinary work in a way that’s cohesive like those of my idols, and use my energy to build, not destroy. suffering and agony are inevitable but i try as much as i can to transmute it into joy, or at least into a form of art. i’ve been thinking about how my OF fits into this too, it’s an amazing platform for me to get my sexual and creative energies out in an uncensored way, and ultimately in time when i’m less burned out and more capable, i want to make something beyond that, that’s influenced by my experience - not overtly but in a more subtle symbolic way, like combining my love of sexual content and conceptual/experimental art. because my branding or whatever is more weird and unhinged than most, it attracts a simpatico vibe of people who are also kind of horny and nerdy like me. i’ve been lucky that my subscribers are very respectful and i can have cool and genuine conversations, but sometimes i worry that if i slack on the nudity i’ll lose my personal appeal. i hope that the enjoyers of my xxx content will also in time be enjoyers of my art on the whole spectrum.
anyway .... tarantitties!!!
thank you if you’ve read thru this whole essay. i try as much as possible to have balance on my OF: on one hand this is my personal page and like a diary to me that i let strangers peek into; on the other hand i also provide a service for you so i don’t want to be to annoying about oversharing. i suppose those who don’t like it can always unsubscribe, i’ve seen a bit of a decline in subscribers this past month and i’ve been trying to not let it affect me; at the end of the day tho i’m happy with my experience here and with the quality of my work, i would rather have tegridy 🌲 than popularity any day. when i’m in a more capable place mentally i’ll hustle more and make more content to make up for it; success and failure are cyclical, they ebb and flow. at the moment i’ve been slowing down a bit to focus on my mental health so thank you those of you who get it and still support me; i’m touched 💖💖💖
there was a full moon last night - a unique BloodFlower Super Moon Eclipse 🌚 🌹 🌚 🌸 so this post is for my dear ass enjoyers, hello. taking a break from existentially watching the world crumble into oblivion to post some ass on the timeline
me sexting: enter me like sylvia plath entered her oven in 1963 😩 ...too dark? okay how about just fuck me ... like there’s no tomorrow ... literally like today is the last day on god’s green earth and the planet will explode tomorrow and you have to fuck me like i’m the only girl in the world. still too dark? too bad 😂
tfw a little tiddy pops out while you’re reading dense poetry and u get a lil hornier than u expected 🖤🤭
