According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
2022-01-07 15:59:29 +0000 UTC View Post
FATHER I CANNOT CLICK THE BOOK I CAN'T CLICK THE BOOK, FATHER DAD DAD THIS BOOK IS ANCIENT TECHNOLOGY THAT IS BEYOND MY MIND, AS I HAVE BEEN TAINTED BY TOUCHPAD TECHNOLOGY FATHER THE BOOK IS ANALOG AND THE DEVICES I AM ACCUSTOMED TO OPERATING ARE DIGITAL AND THUS CLICKING THE BOOK YIELDS UNSATISFACTORY RESULTS WHEN COMPARED TO THE DIGITAL DEVICES THAT HAVE BECOME COMMONPLACE AFTER THE TURN OF THE CENTURY FATHER PLEASE INSTRUCT ME ON HOW TO OPERATE THE BOOK WITH YOUR SUPERIOR MIND YOU WERE BORN IN THE LATE 1970S AND THUS YOUR REALM OF KNOWLEDGE WOULD MOST LIKELY ENCOMPASS THE HANDLING AND OPERATION OF THIS ANCIENT TOME FATHER I CANNOT CLICK THE BOOK
2022-01-06 15:45:50 +0000 UTC View Post
I shoved my 3DS stylus in my penis Hi, OP here. Anyways, TIFU by playing with my 3DS. I was playing some Pokemon on my 3DS and started to get bored and really horny. Since I really enjoy C&BT, I decided that my DS stylus would be the perfect match for my penis. And it was! It fit so snug and perfectly up my urethra that I just couldn't resist to take it out, so I wore it for 2 days straight. When the time was right, I decided to take the oen out only to realize it was about 4 inches deep and stuck inside, no matter how much I peed it out. I originally thought it was pretty cool and also posted it to r/sounding and it got a decent amount of upvotes. Anyway, the removal process was really hard. I tried to pull it out with tweasers but it only pushed the stylus further up my urinary track. I had to go to the emergency room and they performed a 2 hour long surgery, now my penis has a really cool scar! TLDR; DS stylus got stuck in my urethra, had to gry surgery to remove it.
2022-01-05 15:26:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lips are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........
2022-01-04 15:07:56 +0000 UTC View Post
MERRY🎅COCKMAS🍆🍆🍆🍆😜😜😜🐓🐓🐓🐓 AND HAPPY 😁 HOE-LIDAYS 😲😲😲😩😩😩 THIS YEAR 📆 I'M DEFINITELY ✅ ON THE 😈😈😈NAUGHTY😈😈😈LIST📜📝 BECAUSE I'M 👈A GIGANTIC 🏳🌈🌈🏳🌈🌈🏳🌈🌈🏳🌈🌈🎄❄HO-HO-HOMOSEXUAL❄🎄🏳🌈🌈🏳🌈🌈🏳🌈🌈🏳🌈🌈 WHICH IS NOT 🙅♀️❌ VERY CHRISTIAN ⛪🙏 BUT I STILL CAN APPRECIATE 😜 SAINT DICK ✨🎉✨🎉 I CAN'T WAIT FOR 🎅SANTA🎅 TO SLIDE DOWN MY CHIMNEY ⬇🏠😜💦 AND STUFF MY STOCKING 🧦🎁😜 FULL OF DILDOS 😱🍆 AND PENIS PARAPHERNALIA 🍆🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦
2022-01-03 14:52:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey, so I was looking through your account and noticed your karma was rather low. You’ve been using this site for years and yet I seem to have passed you in just 2 months. After seeing this statistic, I have realized that I have been wasting my time arguing with a karmaless bafoon! To see someone with such a small amount of karma is truly saddening, but I guess someone like you is probably used to it, lol. Enjoy your karma! Oh oops, that’s right lmfao! You don’t have any! If you just take back your statements, and apologize to me then MAYBE I’ll let you in on a little karma secret. That way you can be a functioning member of Reddit. Bye lol!
2022-01-02 14:38:10 +0000 UTC View Post
I am 29-years-old and my penis size is three inches when erect. When I ejaculate, the semen quantity is just about one tablespoon. I am getting married in July this year and I am worried if I will be able to satisfy my wife. Please help.
2022-01-01 14:20:21 +0000 UTC View Post
Be me. Accidentally catch my brother on Nhentai. Was never gonna bring it up again but the little fuck started acting weird. Apparently he's been browsing the shotacon, milf tags cuz he's recently taken an interest in our aunt. mf isn't even subtle about it. Thinks the world runs on hentai logic. One night when we're sleeping over at her place he wakes up at like 12:00pm and gets out of bed. I'm still awake and follow him. lil bro goes to aunt reading on the couch. He has a massive fucking boner. Pulls the generic hentai "It suddenly got big" "help me". Whips out his cock and gets closer expecting a fuck. Instead gets screamed at by the aunt and essentially every member of the family the next day, + no internet, TV or videogames for the next year. Serves you right you fucking dumbass
2021-12-31 13:59:49 +0000 UTC View Post
“Its only 5 nights it shouldnt be that hard” I said to myself. That was when i realised freddy Fazbore was in the room.
2021-12-30 13:42:27 +0000 UTC View Post
The fake cummy is at negative comment karma. Let us rejoice. I am living in your walls I am living in your walls I am living in your walls I am living in your walls I am living in your walls I am living in your walls I am living in your walls I am living in your walls I am living in your walls I am living in your walls
2021-12-29 13:28:22 +0000 UTC View Post
I'm (22M) sitting in the classroom, enjoying life, and suddenly I hear "Super idol desha rong dome ni" with sneaky snitch playing in the background. I get so fucking enraged, and yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SUSSY BAKA, VENT TO HELL!". The teacher (28F) yells at me to be quiet, but that just enrages me more. Like how can you even be accepting of such behavior? I pick up my chair and throw it violently her way, crushing her skull. Everyone starts celebrating me and they even make some calls to tell people about what I did, and how brave I was. People start running out to tell the world, and a couple minutes later the police arrive to congratulate me and give me a free apartment in an exclusive state-sponsored apartment complex. Well, it seems like some people consider me an AH for this, which I don't really see why. Reddit, AITA?
2021-12-28 13:17:26 +0000 UTC View Post
Today I (f, 24, vegan) accidentally ate some chicken ( f, 8 weeks, not vegan) and it made me so angry. Im vegan, and was at Popeyes and asked for a chicken sandwich, but the idiot at the counter didn’t realize that I was vegan just by looking at me (vegan) and understanding my vegan aurora, and sold me (vegan) REAL chicken in my sandwich. I (vegan) realized this and told him (not vegan) that I’m vegan and that I’m going to murder his whole fucking family because I (vegan) believe that animal death and cruelty is bad. He (not vegan) told me (vegan) he (not vegan) was going to call the police, and I (vegan) told him (not vegan) that you can’t do that because I’m vegan and I save lobsters at whole foods on the weekend. The cops (not vegan) arrested me (vegan) and they took all my fucking lobster that I (vegan) heroically saved, and now I (vegan) have no one to talk to (lobsters).
2021-12-27 12:53:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I’m meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn’t expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don’t DM me asking where I am (im with the girl, ok) you’ll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don’t expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me so its not a situation I can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online. I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldn’t understand)
2021-12-21 11:15:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello Reddit UWU my name is fox chan nya~ 🦊 and this September I'm getting married (wiggles tail in excitement) 😍🐈🇷🇺 I'm getting married next week to my alpha horse wolf Shadow Senpai 🐴🐺🥰. The dress code is animal themed but my sister won't do it. She's Vagen😳 and thinks it's bad (cries cutely while Mozart's Symphony No. 40 in G minor plays)🎶🎼♫🎤 (eyes turn red like demon, but not like demon) I want to not invite her 😡😤🤬😈 AITA?
2021-12-20 10:59:59 +0000 UTC View Post
Imagine having sex with Eddie Brock, not knowing the fact he is venom And Eddie is about to cum, he moans "we are cumming". Getting confused as you are not even close to climax, wondering what is he talking about and the next thing you see is black thick goo all inside you. Making creampie look like thick charcoal mask, confused. After 9 months giving birth to a piece of huge black sludge, which can transform itself intoa human.
2021-12-19 10:44:17 +0000 UTC View Post
I'M DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy
2021-12-18 10:21:18 +0000 UTC View Post
Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm taking a shower (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so pleas don't DM me asking me where I am (im taking a shower, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be in the shower (again I don't expect you to understand) I'm actually really smelly and its not a situation I can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be taking a shower, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Taking showers and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldn't undertsand).
2021-12-17 10:04:03 +0000 UTC View Post
SO MY FUCKING STUPID SISTER GOT MY LAPTOP WHILE I WAS IN THE BATHROOM AND SHE LITERALLY JUST TOOK MY GAMING LAPTOP THAT I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY FOR $1000 AND SHE JUST SIMPLY THREW IT OFF OUR BALCONY AND GUESS WHAT, ITS BROKEN FOR GOOD. NOW I CANT DO SHIT ON MY LAPTOP AND PLAY MY FAVOURITE GAMES BECAUSE ITS BROKEN AND ALL STUFF WAS THERE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
2021-12-16 09:43:06 +0000 UTC View Post
I wanna fuck the reddit logo Everytime my wifi is laggy and reddit starts loading I get a massive red 9 inch throbbing vein popping Sherlock fucking boner. I have lost no nut November atleast 175 times this year due to the fucking snoo. I want to grab snoo by it's throat and chomp his fucking head then I'll insert my dicc into his thick slimy ass
2021-12-09 07:44:31 +0000 UTC View Post
