Many of us equates our identity and gayness with masculinity..
Added 2021-07-25 00:13:00 +0000 UTCMany of us equates our identity and gayness with masculinity and our physical body as we are brainwahsed by media that glamourizes toxic gay beauty standards. I too am struggling with chronic wantingness and cravingness due to failure of internal satisfaction.. Social and sexual craving is often compensatory to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and the need to constantly provide external sources of pleasure.Such pathological forms of chronic wantingness are well known in our society as an endless drive for relationships, sex, materialism, hoarding, addictions, and desire for approval. Our society praises cis gay men who fit within a masculine persona, and to be masculine means always sexually hungry, always DTF. To be non-hypersexual or non masc means we aren't worthy enough or deserving of love. It induces an inferiority complex in us due to toxic masculinity , yet expresses deep misogyny and aphoia to those who show signs of femininity and who are asexual, and those who does not need sex to feel whole and valid. Sex, which bring temporary pleasure that only leads to more pain, instead of lasting wholeness that emanates from within and that which does not derive its wholeness from the external... I too once struggled (still am) with gay toxic standard and my body image and i constantly feel not good enough or worthy enough and it waters my seed of wantingness and the fear of "losing it all" and my "identity" once I stop working out or fail to maintain my "masculinity" as I conveniently equate my humanhood with my physicality and my seuxality. As i learn to let go of my identification with my body (seeing it as "a" body instead of "my") and the emotional baggages that blinds me to the truth that I am good enough no matter what external conditions i have or dont have and I am made of non-me elements, satisfaction arises not from what I have or don't have but from the realization of the source of my own existence which is not dependent on any external conditions.
