I just want to write a bit more about ‘Emma’ because she was..

I just want to write a bit more about ‘Emma’ because she was such an odd character. She was a woman around 50 years old, and she came to Germany 30 years ago. She spoke zero English, so we talked in German and Mandarin. Emma was not shy to admit that she was very money-oriented and was dating a man 20 years her senior strictly for his money. She told me of how her boyfriend ‘Georg’ beat her daily to the point where her body had nerve damage, and as a result, she could barely move.



Georg’s mother lives with him so that he can take care of her, but Georg’s mother hates Emma. She calls Emma a gold-digging whore whenever she can, and Georg’s sister lives next door and regularly gets into scuffles with Emma.

I felt quite bad for Emma when she told me all these things. Her home life sounded so stressful and hostile, but then I quickly realised she was no saint herself after she showed me videos she had taken of Georg, Georg’s mother, and Georg’s sister…



First, she showed me a series of videos she took of Georg shovelling snow. I watched about 10 minutes of Georg shovelling the snow while Emma ridiculed and laughed at him. Emma’s laughter in the videos was sarcastic and maniacal. She also showed me similar videos of Georg cooking and eating as she ridiculed him. She told me, 'he hates it when I record him.' Then she went on to show me a video of Georg’s mother. At first I thought Emma was just recording an old lady sitting in the dining room, but then she exclaims, ‘you see that! She’s going to the toilet. That’s one of those old people toilets, you know?’ And it was then that I realised she was recording a 93 years old woman to humiliate her. 

The videos Emma took of Georg’s sister, were mainly encounters of whenever the sister left her home, and Emma would scream at her. I must mention, I really don’t like confrontation, I don’t even like watching people’s feelings get hurt on TV shows or movies. I always have to fast forward on those scenes, so this final video she showed me was really hard to watch. Emma showed me a video of her berating and screaming at a group of Christmas carollers.



In Germany, it’s tradition for little ones to go door to door singing and blessing homes during Christmas time in exchange for donations. So in this video, there was a group of about ten little ones, and Emma is in their faces with her phone, recording them. Emma screams at them, telling them that ‘she’s not religious, how dare they come here and beg for money!’ The Christmas carollers are visibly uncomfortable and give an anxious smile while trying to leave. Emma screams and asks them ‘Why are you laughing?! You think this is funny??’ And she continues to shove her camera in their faces following them out the gate as they try to leave.



Other notable conversation topics with Emma include her trying to convince me that I looked like AngelaBaby and that I should move to Shanghai to become an actress 😅. She hated Germany and missed China a lot. She deeply regretted giving up her Chinese citizenship for a German one. But yes, she was dead set on me moving to China. She advised me to maintain multiple Chinese boyfriends and milk them for gifts and money because that's what she would do if she were me, while I advised her multiple times to get therapy 💀

I don't think Georg or Emma are bad people, they're just both seemingly emotionally immature and desperate adults. Georg is desperate for companionship, while Emma is desperate for financial stability. However, they come from entirely different cultures and haven't made an effort to understand each other enough to be able to effectively communicate their needs. This is why I think it's important when two people from vastly different backgrounds date to be on the same page about their set of values and beliefs. When people date based solely on money, looks, or stereotypes, in the end, you will lack the emotional intimacy and understanding to be in a truly fulfilling relationship.