ramenslurps

Our perception of our bodies is so dependent on our historie..

Added 2021-04-21 18:28:24 +0000 UTC

Our perception of our bodies is so dependent on our histories with them. I think some people are able to see beauty in parts of themselves that are unwell. I lost a lot when my legs stopped functioning as they should; I was a HUGE sports player, even making my way onto boy’s teams where girl’s teams didn’t exist. I have my Dad to thank for teaching me how to shoot hoops and catch a pop fly without fear. “GET UNDER IT” he would scream at tiny 5-year-old me with my little mitt trying to compete with his made-it-to-the-minor-leagues throwing arm 😂😂 And my Mom to thank for going to bat for me... by bullying the gatekeeping dads of the boy’s teams for being scared of a girl. She completely bullied grown men so I could then yell at their sons for not anticipating the direction of ground balls 😂 After I lost my ability to run I lifted weights and practiced Judo until I couldn’t anymore. Then swimming until I couldn’t anymore. Now, I can only do about 30 minutes of exercise before I get nerve pain and swelling in my hands. 30 minutes, ice my hands for 20, then 30 more minutes. Because of this, I still struggle daily with missing sports and how easy it was to feel strong and capable by just going for a run or fucking around with a basketball. I’ve always felt my leggies of mine were too stubby or weird looking to be beautiful. I’m 5’10” and always wished for long, slender (fully functional 👀) legs. They’re not pretty otherwise. But that isn’t true. They’re just legs. They’re shaped how they're shaped. That’s OK. Here is to loving ourselves more just as we are even if we cannot accept our space in our bodies. It’s OK to not like a part of yourself or miss what you used to be able to do. But don’t hate yourself for it. And stop hiding your legs. (Also if you can just get up and go run, go on a run for me or play basketball or something because it’s so cool you can do that.)