Saw this today and I had some major feelings about it. Lik..
Added 2021-06-21 19:07:40 +0000 UTCSaw this today and I had some major feelings about it. Like, I am actually upset that Kool-Aid man is below TONY THE TIGER AND CHESTER CHEETAH?! The giant, I get. It’s a giant. And his size as shown in ads is highly variable. Will you get a basketball player or a mountain as an opponent, no one knows. Tony loves affection and skips leg day. He’s a flamboyant youth sports coach. He’s gentle. He likes friendly competition. He’s not biting anyone. Yeah, he’s a tiger but he’s not like a T I G E R And Chester Cheetah?! Cheetahs are known for fleeing. HE IS SHRUGGING IN THE GRAPHIC he’s fighting no one. He’s like pass the joint, put on smooth jazz, and let’s call this conflict good, Baby. But Kool-Aid man?! YA DONE Unless the Kool-Aid in his body cavity is his essence and he will die without it. But I HIGHLY doubt that because it’s always sloshing everywhere in the commercials! Sticky rains pour from his vessel! Does he put Long Island Iced Tea in there on the weekend and kick back? What are you left with if you don’t have to worry about the Kool-Aid within? A MINIMUM 8’ WALKING TERROR DOME Children ages 10-13 raise their arms and jump in excitement around him and get NOWHERE near his pitcher’s lip. Kool-Aid man BUSTS THROUGH BRICK MUNICIPAL BUILDINGS AND FANCY HOMES LIKE HE’S BREAKING THROUGH A PAPER BANNER. And what floor are these people on? We rarely get confirmation they’re on the ground. Does he fly? Does he jump from a higher building, have time to pose, and hit? Lightning fast reflexes! And he smiles. He is like “You called me?” He says “Ooh YEAH” when he comes through like it was a fun rush. That means not only can he run fast enough or fall hard enough to gain moment for a breakthrough but he is NOT AT ALL phased. Not a crack or scratch. That glass must be weapons grade and it’s inches thick. What is your wimpy human ass going to do? Push him into a volcano?? WHAT WHAT WILL YOU DO?!
