**Long… update?…. Kinda… just kept adding on and on… lol oop..

**Long… update?…. Kinda… just kept adding on and on… lol oops** Omg you guysssss… I’d been masterbating since I sent out my PPV (literally 3 hours) a before I finally came 😳 I took adderall last night so I could pack through the night since I’m leaving tomorrow morn and of course got hyper focused on porn instead of being productive hahaha (and then hyper focused on this post and my feelings) I think adderall makes me extra horny, but also makes it harder to orgasm 🥺 So I was watching free porn for a hot minute and then decided to search for some OnlyFans accounts! I just started subbing to other people this week and it took 4 accounts before I found one I really Iike, but I finally did ittttt 🥳 Is it this hard for all of you to find good pages as well?? I mean I know a lot of girls who put out amazing content, but finding someone who caters to your specific interests is HARD!! At least for me it was… Okay I just wanted to share. Feels like a big moment. I also feel kinda dirty paying for porn, not gonna lie. I was raised in a very religious family and lowkey have all that “porn is bad” nonsense engraved in my brain (even though I’ve watched for as long as I can remember and work in that industry now?). I guess paying for it is just big for me because when I was just watching free porn, I could delete my web browser history and pretend I wasn’t watching it or something? I don’t completely understand my logic. I guess since I was raised to believe porn wasn't okay, I still carry a lot of guilt. Even though I don’t agree at all, I struggle. Like I literally JUST stopped constantly deleting my browser history a few weeks ago, even though no one has ever checked my computer/phone. Even when I was super yo ung, so not sure why I was always so paranoid. Plus there’s definitely no chance of anyone checking my phone now and if someone did, it wouldn’t matter 😂 Okay, sorry for the tangent. I guess this is part of my sexual exploration… moving past things like this. I know there’s nothing ”hot” about this, but it’s definitely been a struggle and caused a lot of stress, especially since I started posting nudes and made this account. I wish this wasn’t so judged… especially by the family members who’d look at me as a different person if they knew :( Anyways, I’m super excited to support some other pages since I understand the industry a lot better now and am all too aware of how much time & effort creators (at least most/a lot) put into their content :) Okay, okay, I’m done! Just spent way too fucking long writing this and now I seriously need to go pack!! Oh I took pics in my Calvin Klein set and am gonna post them later, just FYI OOF sorry this is the adderall speaking now. I’ve been awake for 48 hours now and my brain checked out yesterday! Shit I haven’t done a long ass post like this in a MINUTE. Goodnight! Or morning! Happy Wednesday!! PS: let’s just pretend this isn’t written with awful grammar and punctuation 🧚🏻‍♀️