yaoooo, just checking in from a bathroom in south carolina. ..

yaoooo, just checking in from a bathroom in south carolina. Footloose n kid free. Taking some time to reflect on all kinds of things and ketchup with some of you here. 🫣

Been getting some inquiries on when I’m doing more proper shoots n i think I’m ready to come clean on why I’ve been dragging my feet on it…

It’s the tits guys. The boooobs. I mean the whole thing but mainly the boobs. For the last 18 months my body felt like a full on costume. First growing and stretching into a cool pregnant S then a postpartum spewing mess of a milk bag and, idk, that stuff felt fun to share bc it wasn’t really mine. It was the product of hormones and milk glands and the year+ carnival that is the pregnancy and postpartum body experience. Some people hate it and get sick on the teacups n others fucking LOVE spinning em extra, riding em hard n fast swirling the wheel w their sticky lil fingers til the lights go out. You can guess which one I am…

So yeah. Fun’s over. All the rides packed up n moved on. No more elephant ears. No more huge milky tits. I got the cutest souvenir ever but here i am faced with a regular boring body experience n there’s no scrambler or Ferris wheel in gd SIGHT.

So yeah, hormones have regulated into regular waves of lady life and the boobs are recognizable again and I’m here in this bathroom as just plain old me. And i like her but maybe I didn’t wanna share her with you out of costume. Maybe the intention was only to invite you to my carnival weekend.

But intentions can start as one thing and show you something else. And in this case highlighting how much of a lil wuss I am. How I only feel worthy of being on the other side of the lens if I’m putting myself through extreme body transformation. How I even was like “should i get a boob job”? to try to keep the carnival goin. But, eh, maybe a carnival is no fun if it’s always in town. Maybe regular body life is also pretty great. Like the sun on your face with a cup of coffee kinda great. Maybe the best kind of great? The real kind.

Sooo…yeah. Ha. Maybe I’m ready to share my actual “normal” self? Ahhh. Why does that feel so strange to me. But yeah ok sure. Let’s do it. Thanks for being here and supporting me and inspiring me to challenge myself and reflect on these experiences. It’s been really fun (and eye opening!)

Have a great week everybody! Talk soon. 🖤🖤🖤