I wrote down a few thoughts today.. The last few days have ..

I wrote down a few thoughts today.. The last few days have been very exciting for me. I finally told one of my best friend that I am doing onlyfans. None of my friends knew about it except my family lol. I told my family after only two three months. I had to tell them because I was no longer eligible for chiild support. My sister thought it was funny and thinks it's cool what I'm doing (she's 7 years older than me). I remember I was so incredibly nervous when I had the conversation with my mother - luckily my sister was also there. But you have to know, my mom is the best, I love her more than anything and she supports me in everything I do and is always behind me. But she is very conservative and I think that is also due to the generation. And she has not understood in the past that I had several boyfriends (just as an example). That's why I had an incredible amount of respect for this conversation and also really afraid that she will reject me. I knew that she would not do, but there was just everything going through my head. Looking back, I think it was the hardest conversation I had to have, I also wanted to tell my mother the truth, but a gentle form of it. I wanted to be honest with her and not just say I was selling feet pics lol. I was really well prepared for the conversation my sister was supportive. And at first she understood it all but there were more and more questions, what are you showing all, are you naked, how far would you go? The men who jerk off only on you? So you only sell seven bodies? It was somehow all too much, because I did not know the right answer for her. I burst into tears because I felt that I had disappointed her as a daughter in her eyes. I don't think she will ever understand why I do this, but she accepts it as it is. And I think it's very hard for her to accept, but I'm still her daughter and she will never love me less because of it. For example my father didn't really understand that haha. He thought it was cool what I was doing and making a lot of money. I wanted to keep the whole onlyfans thing very secret because I didn't know how it would develop. But I always had some people in mind that I wanted to tell. I was always waiting for the right moment to tell, but it just doesn't happen. I am a person who needs the exchange with other people (I think like any other person).I have felt the last year led a double life, where I always had my secret. That's why it was so liberating to tell someone I trust and am very close to. I also knew my friend, she wouldn’t judge me or anything. She would love that. And so it was and she is just thinking about doing something like that. I mean what more do I want haha I am just so grateful for my family and friends. And so incredibly grateful that I could travel as long as I feel like. 💖🤍