Sometimes I think about Benjamin… I chose to break up with B..
Added 2022-06-26 16:16:42 +0000 UTCSometimes I think about Benjamin…
I chose to break up with Benjamin‘s he was an asshole. Sometime I still think about him because it was really nice to have somebody that you know wanted to see me and kiss me do all these fun things and I was attracted to him too. Every time I come to the train station here i go to the same location where I first met Benjamin. Blue Angel inside of the train station that’s huge. Here is where we always used to treffen. I would come from the side of the corner and he would be there waiting for me. I guess I’m just feeling emotional because my period is coming in so I just feel lonely. I don’t really have sex with my boyfriend Mark anymore. Last person I had Sex with was Benjamin. Makes me sad. The last person I had sex with was this benjamin and now I have only Marc but I just don’t want that. I just wanna guy that is nice to me, beautiful, nice, treats me right. Feel like I’m gonna cry right now. I only feel like that because my period is going to start soon. I just want someone that wants me as much as I want them.. I had a nightmare about Benjamin two days ago. He was manipulating me in my dream telling me that I can’t go anywhere/ I need him he told me there’s no way I can go. Dude that’s like so manipulative and like so like mentally abgefuckt. But like I said this was just a dream and it’s still like my dream play such a role in my life and when I wake up. Having dreams about like my toxic exes is terrible. Because when I wake up I only think about them and I’m just like I don’t wanna think about you I broke up with you for a reason. And I hate that my brain sometimes self sabotage myself into thinking that I wanna be with these toxic ass people and that’s not fucking true. I just don’t understand why fucking toxic people are giving me things that no one else is giving me my life right now and makes me so weak because I wanna keep them because they’re giving me what I want. But in reality this is just not gonna work.
