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I feel so fucking emotional right now. I just feel like cryi..

I feel so fucking emotional right now. I just feel like crying. My life is good. I have money, friends in Germany, roof over my head, food… just feel so fucking lonely. I seek connections and I just can’t seem to make any friends. Dates just don’t do it. I like going on dates but i need my friends around me.

I know my date last night and I aren’t going to see each other anymore. That hurts a little too.
I’m a very sentimental Frau und suche Verbindungen.

I just miss having people around that know me, and want to play with me, and know me you :(

It so hard going on dates and I am being myself true self and they tell me they don’t like it.
Like goddam. My friends like me and it makes me feel so good. Knowing I can be myself and more and feel good.
My date yesterday made it apparent and clear that I wasn’t someone who he felt good with. Like bro…. I get it. Doesn’t mean you can’t be gentle with manners. I get it. I’m not the one but what ever..
I’m just mad at myself that I regardless of how bad the date was I still want that person to text me again and want to see me. I ache for it: even tho I don’t want it. I’m sitting here aching for a text from him even tho I know I don’t want to go further. I just so desperate for fucking human contact and just any friendship.

Fuck living in Switzerland is hard:
The people are so closed off and. And I’m a good person, I’m super nice and sympathetic, I’m open and ready to just give good vibes.
It’s hard being in a society that just doesn’t open up.I thought Germany was hard. But the Swiss people are harder than stone. You guys are showing me that you don’t want me :(

I like here tho. It’s so beautiful but I am just fucking alone.

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