(tw: mentions of eating disorders and self harm) I get asked..

(tw: mentions of eating disorders and self harm) I get asked all the time for tips for becoming more Body Positive. The first step for me was unlearning the constant stream of negative self talk that was occurring in my mind. Our brains create neuro pathways with our thought patterns and when we engage in negative self talk, those pathways become stronger and stronger. This eventually becomes a default. Think of snow on a hill. You can have a ton of sleds going down their own pathways, but if people start using the same path, or it's used over and over, it becomes deeper and more ingrained. It eventually may become the go-to route. This is the same for our thought patterns. This is also why when I lost 95 pounds in a short amount of time in the midst of an eating disorder and obsessive exercising, I didn't like my body any more than I did before. If anything, I was more judgemental and hyperfocused on it. I had spent over 20 years saying "I hate my body, I hate my belly, I hate my arms, I hate....", imagining literally cutting hunks of fat off of myself, and actually self harming for many years. What was 5 months of being in a smaller body going to do to that kind of mental and physical damage I was inflicting on myself? I was lucky enough to work with a therapist to learn how to gently correct these thoughts and have since cut the negative self talk out of my life. It was almost comforting before. Now it feels incredibly foreign. I still have days when it happens, but I never wallow in those thoughts the way I used to because I now recognize they are lies and generally have the tools to quiet those thoughts. Just like negative self talk becomes a habit, the opposite can be too. Learning to be kind to yourself always. For me, if I wouldn't say it to a kiddo or a friend, I won't say it to myself. I have also put up boundaries and do not engage in negative self talk with others. It's so normalized and it absolutely should not be. It is detrimental. Here is a lil infographic about negative self talk, what it looks like, and the problems it can cause. Everyone's path to learning how to stop these intrusive and debilitating thoughts I'm sure is different (I am not a professional and because of that I do feel uncomfortable giving major advice, but I can tell you the steps that I took which worked pretty well for me over time), but know it IS possible and it IS worth it to figure that out for yourself.