*Come lay with me, and tell me your thoughts~* I sometimes ..
Added 2021-12-17 21:49:57 +0000 UTC*Come lay with me, and tell me your thoughts~* I sometimes wonder if my pictures match what I'm trying to portray, whether it's a thought, or feeling, or an event going on in my life. I wonder if when you read this, and you see the pictures or clips that I post with it, do you feel like you're in the room with me? Like if I'm sharing these things with you personally? Do you see me superficially, or do you see me for me? It's something I definitely struggle with in this industry. The first thing people see is my appearance and they can judge from that. Whether they actually want to get to know me or just want something from me to get off, that's up to them. But it's also up to me because it's my job. I do wish there was a more intimate connection, or I guess a more personal connection where it's like we can be in tune with one another. Then, there is the fear of "will they like me or will they stop caring if they get to know me?" "How different would it be?" There is a boundary that I like to establish. But I feel like the lines get blurred because of what is required of me. You want a more real, genuine connection so that the "sex" is more meaningful. But what happens if it becomes something more? Are you able to have that boundary for yourself or is it solely up to me to tell you that this is still a fantasy? I would love for us to get to know each other and to develop a deeper connection so that I may create things in a better way that you like. But how do you stop the relationship from being parasocial?
